Today I Had My BonBons

Today I Had My BonBons....

May is a busy month... lots of celebrations. Mother's Day, Anniversary, My Birthday, Mom's Birthday.... like I said, lots of celebrations. And we have been busy too ... T-Ball, Church, Youth Group, Prom, family events... and the like. We are tired. Happy, but tired.



My morning started off with a wonderful twist... bugs in the bathroom, poop on the carpet, and crying kids. Triage... seal off the bathroom, quarantine the children so they don't play with the Haz Mat on the carpet, clean the mess-maker, and then... breathe. I called Chris:


Ring...
Chris:"Hello?"
Em:"Hi. You are my best friend. I need you to laugh with me... Our child pooped on the carpet."
Chris:"Nice... "

Em and Chris: laughter.



Its always best to laugh when you'd rather scream, then run away. These are the moments when I realize that I'm the mom. No one else is going to clean this up, give hugs to the crying kids, and supply that safe feeling ... the one I always had in the middle of the night when I peed my bed and my mom would change my sheets, or when I was sick (always at night) and she'd wash my face with cool washcloth and whisper sweet things to me. Its funny, because no matter how far removed I am from those days when mom would comfort me, I still crave it. I always will. She is the calm in the storm. So I call her.

Ring...
Mom: "Hello?"

Em: "Hi Mom..."
She can tell right away! Then she usually says something that makes it all go away, the gloom and despair, and encourages me that I can do it. I knew I could. But isn't it better when MOM says I can?



I digress: I AM THE MOM! After hiding in my bedroom for a few minutes while I battled with tears that wanted desperately to fall, I gave myself a pep talk and went out to conquer. Gather the kids, get the car keys. We are having company for dinner tonight. Through the front door no less than 3 times, because I keep forgetting something: the wrong size air filter that I need to return, the coupons that will save me a dollar, and someone lost a shoe. To the grocery store we go. Before we get there, a quick stop at the cleaners who ruined a brand new prized shirt. One of the only expensive pieces I own (I will post "Why is it always the expensive stuff?" a different day). They had no idea they were dealing with a woman on the edge. But we managed to make it out of there without a hitch. No resolution, but no hitches either.



Next the grocery store. It was a good time. My kids love Publix. Not because of the high prices or the clean and shiny floors. But for the omnipresent cookie that the Bakery loves to give. I love it too. They eat, I shop. Its a nice combination. Home again. Lunch at the kids table. Teaching Mary Hannah to sit in a chair without being strapped to it. This involves crumbs, endless attemps at wandering the house with PB&J in hand, and of course, trying to feed the dog. Luckily, the dog knows better. Clean the bugs in the bathroom, change some sheets, say goodnight for a little nap. Them, not me. But oh how I would like for it to be me!


Hard at work making lasagna, a new recipe from a great new resource The Pioneer Woman . It takes awhile, 2 hours or so. Not because its complicated. But because I am. But hey, I like to try new things. The dog is barking loudly at the mailman. I am sure it will wake the kids. But before they arise, ready to tear out all the toys I just put away, I have a few things I need to do. Eat lunch, take a shower. Did I brush my teeth this morning?


I am thinking about when I run into acquaintances who go on and on about how nice it must be to stay at home. It sure is. I never imagined daily complications that are just a part of everyday life, (i.e. the poop scenario). But it is nice. There are things that are nice about working for a company, namely a paycheck. I would like to have one of those. I got to thinking that I do deserve something. Something daring and terrible. Something gross. Something that would make my friends roll their eyes with jealousy.


Today I am having my BonBons.


Only I don't think they make those any more. So I improvise. How about an ooey gooey S'more!
Yes, I layered sin upon sin. Perfectly square graham crakers, unadultered Hershey's Chocolate in large amounts, and fluffy pure white marshmallows. The huge ones that are usually used to play the terribly embarrassing game of "Chubby Bunny" (Which I must add is also terribly dangerous. So don't try it at home). No, I didn't light anything on fire. Which is probably better with the day that I have had. I popped them in the microwave and devoured them right there in the kitchen. They were sinful, fabulous, and just what I deserved.

For just a moment I didn't think about the dirty floor beneath me, the hedges that need trimming (which would be by scissors in my hand), or how I sometimes complain about my post-partum body. Nope. I was indulging.



Today I had my "BonBons". I am a stay at home mom. What else do I do?